I don’t drink beer very often, but when I do …
That probably brings to mind the person who just retired this week as the pitch man for Dos Equis. The ads almost always feature beautiful women draped on his shoulder, implying of course that if you drink that beer women will find you attractive. Silly for sure, but iconic.
In tribute to him, I found the top 100 things he claimed … just for fun. Knowing you don’t have time to read all 100, I have broken the list into bite size pieces for your enjoyment over the next few weeks. Enjoy!
31. He lives vicariously through himself
32. His business card simply says ‘I’ll Call You”
33. He once taught a German shepherd how to bark in Spanish
34. He bowls overhand
35. In museums, he is allowed to touch the art
36. He is allowed to talk about the fight club
37. He once won a fist fight, only using his beard
38. He once won the Tour-de-France, but was disqualified for riding a unicycle
39. A bird in his hand is worth three in the bush
40. His lovemaking has been detected by a seismograph
41. The Holy Grail is looking for him
42. Roses stop to smell him
43. He once started a fire using only dental floss and water
44. His sweat is the cure for the common cold
45. Bigfoot tries to get pictures of him
46. Werewolves are jealous of his beard
47. He once turned a vampire into a vegetarian
48. He once won the world series of poker using UNO cards
49. He never wears a watch because time is always on his side
50. He has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks
51. He has won the lifetime achievement award… twice
52. If opportunity knocks, and he’s not at home, opportunity waits
53. Batman watches Saturday morning cartoons about him
54. When he was young he once sent his parents to his room
55. He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels
56. His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body
57. His blood smells like cologne
58. On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
59. His hands feel like rich brown suede
60. Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect